Veterans of the Psychic war

Its been a long time since I have felt so desperate and helpless. Powerless and incapable of any affirmative action. Every situation feels like a lost cause and every action feels like one in the wrong direction.

But I will not give up I will not go back for I am a veteran at the psychic war. I go about waging battles every waking moment . Living on presumptions and hunches which I so firmly believe in that they have now become a manifestation of truth for me. There is no fear there is no loss only an end less journey of mind against fact . The world is out to prove me wrong , to hurt me where it pains the most but I shall not give up I will never surrender . For the battle is now a part of me . it defines me .

Keep telling myself all is not lost , there has to be a way out of this mess , there is light at the end of the tunnel and I keep trudging along .Often I am faced by stiff opposition. Reading my mind and undermining my every move. The effort is excruciating the pain is intolerable yet I lumber along as I know no other way .

For it is always the darkest before dawn.

5 stages of rejection

Some of us may be aware of the Kubler Ross model for accepting death. It is not very different from a failed relationship.

The first stage is

Denial : I am sure he/she still likes me . She may have some other issues.

People are not ready to accept their relationship has failed. They keep consoling themselves that its not their fault. Its just that the world did not turn in the same direction that they did .

Anger : “How can he/she ignore me ?”, “Why me ?, Why again ?”

This is the phase in which a person tries to remove his frustration. He curses his luck . He argues with himself and God. He gets retrospective and vents out his anger at the slightest trigger.

Bargaining : “Can we at least be friends?”

This is when we are pulling on the last straws.This is when you try everything and anything possible to make things work. You are ready to bargain for things which caused the fallout.

Depression: “I can not do this any longer”, “I was not good enough for her”

This phase is when we start accepting reality . But we magnify all past actions and blame ourselves for the slightest misunderstanding.

Acceptance: “I should forget her”, “I need to move on now”

This is when we finally accept that things have not gone right and may be its for the better. we start accepting things and start moving on.

This blog is dedicated to House MD.

For all who watch it "Amen"

For all who dont "Do it"

Beauty

Beauty has often confused me. The concept is rationally alien to me. Why is it that we find something pleasing to the eyes and somethings offensive? It is all but a physical manifestation of human form . Then how could it vary so much to generate such contrasting reactions.

Up until now I always thought beauty was like democracy. Something which is pleasing to a persons eyes would be pleasing to most people's eyes which is a rather generalist opinion of beauty. Which is to say I accepted something to be beautiful if most people around me concur to it.

But today I did see beauty . Beauty which had no under current of parallel opinion. I was not under the influence of any precious experience and of previous encounter. It was an emotion of purity. unadulterated with cognitive thought. I was so awe struck that I was unable to express myself, I felt a loss of words . I was blinded and yet enlightened. When it was out of sight I felt visually impaired I tried to capture the image in my mind but I just couldn't do so .

I yearn for it now. I try to recall my vision but all in vain . Today I did realize that beauty is not some thing which appeals to your mind alone it enchants your heart. It is unparalleled in expression. It is like an aberration on the canvas which stands out. It makes minds weaker and delves deeper through the heart through the veins and soon fixates the whole body.

Alas beauty is still alien to me now it confuses me even more and doesn't seem to be leaving any hints for me to figure out its true interpretation.

Hallucination theory and Transitional hypothesis

Intrepid thought processes often seek altercations in the mind which are unexplored and untarnished. That is the birth of creative thought. From the depths of the unexplained and the unexplored rises the nexus of human evolution often contra banded by revolutionary revolts from spawn.

I for once seek clarification on what I am and why I am the way I am and wonder if I did manage to change my thought process how would I be different from what I am right now. It may all seem to be an entwined mesh of words but to put it simply I just ask my self whether I am actually capable of generating a thought which is not a consequence of a previous experience.

There is often a high amount of emphasis a person gains from experience. But if experience were actually that important then how did we manage to evolve so fast so quickly without evolution taking a parallel course.

Today for the first time in a long time I have realized that in the quest of achieving new thoughts and ideas that i have become boring and serious. It amazes me that as a person who undermines his every thought and analyzes his every action and reruns it every waking hour how I came about this revelation. My mind is alas just a slave of my previous experience and I am just a slave of my mind. It seems to me that I am stuck in a vicious circle which cannot be comprehended without triviality creeping up. If I do try to make a megalomaniac out of my self how would I go about it, If there were thoughts of irrationality why would it seem fathomable by some and detested by others.

Mental Models and Magic Potions

Over the last one week the two major influences on my existence have been a class on behavioural finance and my fourth re run of harry potter and the half blood prince.

That is when I made a queer observation. There is a visible common ground between mental models and magic potions, both flatter to deceive.

Mental models are as much an expression of our whims as are magic potions, If we were able to actually make models to map human thought it would be a worthless exercise.

The whole beauty of a human brain is its unpredictability, if we were able to actually deduce behaviour then human beings would end up becoming nothing more than zombies.

Magic potions on the other hand are accepted whims of our imagination but if they were actually true they would in essence suggest the presence of mental model. This can be deduced from the fact that magic potions cause a particular behavioural reaction in human beings and if that were true then the person would be abiding by a mental model.

The one thing I did learn rather re-learn in the behavioural finance class was the concept of proof by contradiction, which I have done above , if you have not understood it yet then let me elaborate.

Theory to prove: mental models don’t exist

Contradiction to proof: mental models do exist

Parallel: magic potions exist

Fact: magic potions don’t exist

Deduction: Magic potions cause mental models

Contradiction: If mental models are caused by magic potions and it is a fact that magic potions don’t exist then mental models don’t exist .

melancholy princess

She may be beautiful

Yet is so vulnerable

She may be smart as a tack

Yet she never watches over her back

She may be radiant

Yet she withers away

Her motions vibrant

Yet she has her melancholy way

Often she sits and wonders why

Her heart’s happiness she does deny

Wild spirited and serene she wishes to be

Yet she is too bound and rooted to free

Her thoughts all scattered

Her confidence shattered

Her memories all tattered

But none really mattered

She blossoms again and burgeons on

She is the beautiful flower with the poisonous thorn

Spinning yet another web of hope

Yet another tragedy she wishes to cope

Invites trouble like the neighbourhood fairy

Lest her life should become dreary

Fights against her own mind and heart

As she goes back to the start

Identity Crisis

Hi my name is Venkat Siddarth rather it is Gudiseva Veera Venkata Surya Satya Vara Siddhartha.

All these 44 characters usually get reduced to 3-5 letters when I am being addressed by friends ,family etc. Most commonly it reduces to "Sid" or "Venki".

"SID" is a very common name I observe.

And sometimes some people forget that it is my name as well and when they see a folder by the name "Sid" on my desktop they think it has something to do with the various other "Sids" around and question my motives.

I m used to being called by other names which have nothing to do with the seven names given to me by my fore-fathers.

But when people question my usage of the one name given to me by my beloved parents it pisses me off.

Over the past twenty four years I have amassed more than twenty nick names all from extremely creative people which necessitates that they have nothing to do with my real name. Hence I am now programmed do respond to many words some of which also have a derogatory connotation.

It often happens that two people are arguing and indulging in name calling and out of the blue one of the flowery words they use is similar to one of my nick name.

Hence now I am stuck in the world with innumerable names but none I can call my own. Not one name which makes me stand out and this has lead to a sort of identity crisis recently. It is only today that I have realised all these names are my identity. I am a person with many identities. There are Jacks of all arts. I am the Sid of all names.

Leisure

My Days at MDI :

What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

No time to stand beneath the boughs
And stare as long as sheep or cows.

No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.

No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night.

No time to turn at Beauty's glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance.

No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began.

A poor life this if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

I couldnt have described my days any better than this!

SM = Sleep Management

Drifting in and out of sleep
Management studies are profound and deep

Crouching and hunching to hide one self
Looking for comfort around ourself

Battering comments and a blabbering professor
each one more boring than his predecessor

Yet we find solace in class and benches
For our lack of boredom it now quenches

Imaginary objects looming overhead
All images white blue and red

Now the lecture becomes even more unbearable
the professor trying to entertain us with a fable

Even less blood pumping to the brain
hand over eyes now I cannot refrain

Slowly head held at half mast
Damn only half the class has gone past

Now the time for examples and anecdotes
Irritating interjections by the dumb rotes

Now the feeling is full and whole
I guve up and sleep with a steady systole

The Absent Minded Author

As most of you may be knowing , a very very close friend of mine is an Author.
Recently he released a best selling novel which was well received by all the mast ram and savita bhabhi fans across the nation.The above description may not be entirely true but the book does have its bit of adult entertainment which has been handled tastefully. The book has an excellent story line and a very good speech by one of the characters which makes it a must read.

The original title for the book was "A theory of intelligence". Which is a very apt title according to me . The author himself is an extremely intelligent human being . If there is anything he lacks, it is a memory. He is more absent minded than most of the seventy year old professors who teach us here. He has managed to loose almost all of his personal belongings except the only thing he actually wanted to loose.

He has managed to loose innumerable number of items including spectacles, car keys , bike keys , wallets ,laptops, watches,tennis racquets, books and the thing which hurts the most "a girl's phone numbers". It is a very rare and auspicious occasion when he manages to get the phone number of a girl and he worships that slip of paper as if it were a God send and yet he manages to loose it.

My dear friend here is some advice for you
1) If you were ever to murder a person please make sure that you return to the scene of the crime before any one else for you are sure to have forgotten some identification mark there.
2) Observe and learn from squirrils. Squirills as you know suffer from an extremely short term memory and hence when the move they usually retrace half their part so that they remember where they are coming from.
3) Always take down a girl's phone number on your hand as it is a little more difficult to loose it.
4) Maintain a journal so that once you loose your complete memory , which might be pretty soon you atleast have something to right about.
5) Use hair gel.

Football

There is football in my blood

There is football in my veins

Football on my head

Football in my brains

Jumping for the ball

Tumbling for a foul

Running through the flank

Converting defence to attack

Setting up a free kick

With an impressive back flick

Rising for the header

High over the defender

At last here comes a chance

Take a side way glance

Aiming for the goal

Hit the bloody pole

Screaming in agony

Shouting at the referee

Calling for a penalty

Promising by fidelity

Set the sights to the top corner

The keeper is now a goner

Kick it as hard as you possible

And shout goal goal goal!

Rebel with a cause

Tests at 9PM , 11Hrs of continuous classes, Hostels hotter than a boiler, Food comparable to rocks and rotis comparable to Frisbees .450 pages readings for a class, 24 lectures in a week .Sunday mornings are also not spared. Authorities out to get us for any slip up. All these scenarios are slowly pushing him to the edge.

The rebel without a cause is getting all he asked for, “A cause”. At first he bears the pressure then there is silent disapproval slowly rising within. Then he goes to the rumour mills and the small agonies are magnified and spread like wild fire. The rebel is rising. Don’t push too hard at a mob of 600 people. They might soak it in at first without much resistance but when the threshold is reached they will push back and when they do you are bound to fall. Open rebellion is inevitable. As the heat gets to the minds of most people, as living conditions get inhuman and so does the work load there is no reprise and the boiling point is about to be reached . Total and ultimate annihilation will eventually follow.God please let it rain!!

Life after death

The erranious decision making capability of mankind often shocks me, astonishes me and sometimes amuses me . But when you are the one who makes the judgement error it aint funny. There are few words to describe the feeling for lack of conscious appraisal of a situation. The whole scenario often leads to anger. Anger usually has three basic causal pre requisites
1) The knowing or unknowing action of another person to hurt you through action or words
2) The anticipation of a difficult situation which cannot be faced head on
3) As a facade

The first situation can be dealt with ease as it usually has a physical manifestation. A bout or a war of words often helps in supsiding the situation.
The second situation is usuall foreseeable and the consequence can be abated without a falling out.
The third is the most tricky situation to handel . anger manifests as a facade for many emotions. it is important to understand the underlying emotion. This sort of effectual interpretation can often be misread and no action is taken until the situation gets out of hand and causes embaressing and noticable changes in charactar.It is a pity that the third often happens between friends who know that something is astray but are not able to identify the reason.
Anger is often circuitous and cyclical an expression it seems to belie all other emotions
It is when Anger gets out of hand that Rage is experienced.
One of the most awesome emotions Rage is pure unadultreated anger which surpasses all other characteristic behavioral indications. It is important to adderss anger before it manifests as rage for once rage sets in it cannot be stopped and total and ultimate destruction ot the situation is often the outcome.

PS. Rage is a state of being and one which cannot be shed easily . Stay away from it :)

Coincidence

Coincidence is a wonderful thing,
It is one occurrence which is always able to surprise you.
It often keeps you in the hope for more yet it sustains the charm of untainted joy or sorrow.
A coincidence is but a fleeting moment in a dreary life yet its impact is sustained by the thought of it. It is so often so unexpected and wonderful that you are up at two in the night trying to write about it.Yet it can never be captured in words effectively.

Choices

They say Life is full of choices.
I say its the lack of choices which rules the way you lead your life.

When ever there is a possibility to choose between two alternatives you can be rest assured that the result is due to the choice but if you had no choice you have nothing to look back upon and ponder over what went right or wrong.

For example if you like a girl and you decide to ask her out and have a torrid relationship you know its because you asked that girl out.
Now consider a case where you had no choice like you got fired from your job and you joined the college where you got admission there is no possibility of any choice there and now you are stuck in the recession and dont get a job . you have no choice to trace back to . you were not given an option of not getting screwed.

If choices were everything then probability would be the most important only subject o0f consequence but due to the lack of choices the science of probability has taken into an art form.

Choose wisely when you have an option ,for most part you are destined to get screwed any ways.

It

It’s odd, very odd. Is it irony I feel right now or is it clemency. Is it the way I am supposed to feel or is it actually the way I feel? Am I confused are my apprehensions confounded or are the as baseless as my wandering thoughts. Is it not supposed to be the way it is. Or is it just the opposite. Is it an illustration of self or is it an expression of self. Am I indulging in self loathing or is it self pity. May be it is self discovery, but I know not what I have set out to discover. Does every quest lead to discovery or can a discovery be made without intending it, am I who I am or am I pretending to be someone else. If I were not my self then who would I be, what I would be. I would not be the way I am right now. But if I were the way I am then I would be myself. If I was already myself then what is it that I ought to be, If I aint what I ought to be am I at least what I want to be. If being is equivalent to living am I living , But if I were living why is it that life has no meaning, Or is there some hidden meaning I am unable to get for I am too dumb but if I were dumb would not know that I am unable to decipher a hidden meaning, May be life has no meaning , its just smart peoples way of giving them selves some importance , if we revel in self importance then why aren’t all people selfish , if all people are selfish then why do we live in a society . They say man is a social animal. If we were social then all of us should think of the greater good. But what is greater good isn’t it a cognitive thought or is it a singular thought which over powers other peoples thoughts if that is the case than one human is superior to another, if a there is a difference in the levels of human beings then why is their a cry for equality. May be it is the way a lower level human tries to equate the playing field. But if he were indeed a lower level human being then he would not be able to get the thought of equality. May be humans can live at different levels of intelligence and consciousness at various times , just like an electron which goes to a higher state when excited and drops to a lower level when it looses its energy. But if people changed their levels of being then no person could be called as intelligent. It’s ironic to call a person smart, as you are commenting on his state of being and not his existence. So we can deduce that other humans attribute prevailing characteristics to build your social outlook, but if two human beings of a higher level of being were to be observed by a common group of individuals then would they both be considered to be intelligent. May be they would but if they are not then it means that the common group of observers are not in a higher stat of being and are not able to decipher that the person being observed is in a higher state. Alas what is my point you may ask, well my point is that there is no point, if there were a point may be a smart person could understand it, but if a person is not smart he may not be able to understand but act as if he did so as to maintain his veil of equality. Consider the case when what I write actually does not make sense but a smart person makes some sense out of it and a dumb person makes some other interpretation. Hence what a person says or does is temporary it is all transitional, every feeling every emotion all of it is transitional; it is just a way to keep your mind occupied so that you do not get bored. So the next time you miss a person or feel that you are over burdened by work or feel sad or angry , let the emotion control you let it define you for that moment but do not try to hold on to it once it passes. let your self be your self do not try to define what it is just enjoy it the way it is.

Just For Kicks

He is just walking across the field. Ambling across as if he were there with no purpose or cause. He looks unconcerned with the rest of the people around him. He looks to be in serenity with the environment. As if he belongs there and no where else on the world. Suddenly a whistle blows and he starts running. He sprints towards the corner of the field, looking up to see if there is any one else around him. There is a huge guy almost 6 feet tall lurking around, making slow but sure steps towards him. Suddenly he shouts “here, here, I am free, Right flank”. Slowly soaring above all the bodies on the field the ball comes towards him, His eyes light up like a little kid opening up his Christmas presents, the big burly defender is now moving quickly towards him. The kid puts out his foot and cradles the ball over his heel. The defender charges, He grace fully lobs the ball in the air, the defender is caught unawares, now too quick to change his direction and his momentum carries him over the line the kid successfully beats his man. The ball now quietly lands between his feet; he looks up with intent towards the goal. He sizes up his opposition looking for a crack in the wall, like a lion keenly observing a pack of gazelles looking for the slowest one. He finds his gazelle; He slowly nudges the ball from one foot to another and starts putting long strides He approaches the diminutive but rotund defender, who looks at him with a sense of determination. The kid flicks the ball to his right the defender sees the ball and shows intention to move towards it but the kid fades to the left and the defender is confused not knowing where to go, he attacks the kid but alas he is too quick, he circumnavigates the defender and collects the ball right behind the defender’s back who tries to turn around and trips. There is a loud murmur across the field, the goal keeper howling “fall back fall back, Right Flank attack”. The kid tells himself “two down, one to go”, as the whole battalion charges towards him he moves gracefully unimpeded towards the goal. Now it’s only the goal keeper and him, he nudges the ball forward and lines up a shot; the goal keeper senses his opportunity and dives towards the ball. The kid smiles, slowly brings down his boot onto the ball and pulls it back, the goalie dives and bites the dust .The kid triumphantly manages to get a smirk on his face and to the horror of eleven people on the field and many more around it, wraps his boot right at the bottom of the ball just above the ground and chips it. The ball slowly elevates rising above the flattened keeper, His eyes now as big as melons and watch the ball gently land between the dreaded caresses of the net .The keeper cups his face with his palms, unable to face the world and his team mates. The rotund defender kicks the goal post in anger, and then screams in agonies of pain, the big burly defender gets down on his knees and rests his face on his elbows. The kid nonchalantly walks towards the net and picks up the ball, as he turns around there is a huge huddle forming around him. Ten men almost twice his age lower their heads in respect and the kid smiles and for the first time in his life he feels elation, and he spends his days now in pursuit of getting the same feeling.

It is not every day that a ten year old kid scores a goal in a school match; it is even rarer that he does it within the first minute of the start of play. It’s astounding that he went past three men with the grace of the wind, ruffling them but staying serene himself. But the greatest virtue is he has the poise of an elder and he has been scoring goals like this for over a year now.

resurrection

Human emotions ebb in times of sorrow

Troubled by the worrying images of tomorrow

Feeling the fear of the worst

With nothing left to trust

God forsaken men at arms

Ruining Mother Nature’s charms

How can I see beyond this dream

The life of these men makes me scream

Caught in the web of freedom

Not knowing what is meant by treason

I lay buried as a slave

Like I were in my grave

Not knowing the outside but burning within

Free me from this illusion

Let us rise from this seclusion

Fight the war of words and thoughts

Stop this world as it rots

Hold hand in hand

And together we stand

To kill the beast within and among us

To free ourselves from this inevitable curse.

The Reason for the recession

All of us know that the US recession was caused by the housing bubble . But have you ever wondered why the housing bubble burst. The reason behind the justification given by numerous analysts and pundits was not enough to satiate my curiosity and here is the result of some extensive research I have been able to gather over the past two months.

September 11,2001 was a sad day for the whole world . But is it possible that the terrorist strikes had a far more telling impact than the attacks on Afghanistan. Was the US government beaten at its own game of economics . Did the government cause the down fall of the world economy and not the investment banks?

Source :Freddi Mac website.

As can be seen from the graph the mortgage rates are relatively constant from 1994 to 2000 at 8% and the volumes of houses are also constant at around 800,000 . From 2000 to 2005 the rates fell from 8.06% to 5.81 % with a sharp fall from 2001 to 2003 .The volumes increased from 877,000 to 1,283,000 from 2000 to 2005.

Here is untenable proof as far as I am concerned.
The US mortgage loan rates pretty constant in the 1990 .
Come 2001 the rates start decreasing .
The volumes of houses being sold starts increasing .

But how are these linked to the Sep 11 events ??
This is how. The US was in a state of panic right after 2001 . The government was scared that people might start losing faith in the government unless some positive steps were taken and pretty fast . The mortgage rates were lowered. This enticed customers to go in for houses . Once a person owns a house he has a sense of security and attachment. The US was trying to win back the peoples' faith .The house is the best place for a person to feel security and the amount of self composure gained by a family when it owns a house is immense, hence this ploy was used. The mortgage rates were lowered and more and more loans were doled out . In the same vein even people with poor credit ratings were given loans to get back the sense of security . The government could not foresee that this step could cause any sort of problem which it eventually did.

As the house sales started increasing a snowball effect took control of the market and it was not kept under check . This prompted the prices to sky rocket and the people bought the houses in a frenzy expecting that the property would appreciate as it had done so. But as the market saturated and the demand for the houses decreased the prices started dropping. All the properties which were sold among the 3-27 and 2-28 mortgage schemes started defaulting from 2006-07 onwards and by 2008 the totality of the judgment error by the govt was for all to see.

The US government tried to play on the psychology of its citizens . But it forgot that in a market driven economy the price is all that matters and when prices are controlled but only partially it can lead to disastrous effects . The blame might be on the banks and the rating companies . But probably the reason lies far higher.Market economics should be tinkered with utmost caution lest it would ravage the world as badly as the tsunami did.

Inadvertising 2

Inadvertising 2
Case study 1 : Dev D
Dev D a good film considering its target audience and what made it extremely popular was a song which was not related to the movie. An X rated version of the song Emotional Atyachar which appealed to almost the whole of the target audience , which largely consisted of people for the age group of 18-30 . This age group was able to relate to the song very strongly . The song was posted on the internet and it was passed from one email inbox to another like fire and the movie received so much publicity which was unthinkable with the usage of conventional mechanisms. Some people actually thought that the song was actually a part of the movie. The most important thing being when people actually went to the cinema halls they were not disappointed with the movie hence sustaining the inadvertising created around it.

A Girl's Friends

The basic classifiaction of a girl's guy friends can be done on three basic measures
Need Based: How much the girl needs the friendship
Variety Based:How many types of friends a girl could want
Access Based: The amount of access the girl gives to the guy(Not Physically but mentally,On second thoughts maybe physically too.)

Need Based Friends
1.Acquaintances: Satisfies the girls need to have a large friend circle and contact base for future opportunities.
2.Friends : People the girl needs around her to feel important and to get attention
3. Good Friends : The people the girl thinks are worth being around and respects and resiprocates their company
4. Best friends : These are the people the girl wants around her when she is happy or wants to party.
5. Confidant: The guy the girl treats like her personal agony aunt and runs to when ever in a quandry, usually these are the cases where the guy likes a girla nd she doesnt resiprocate his emotions hence he becomes her confidant just so that he can be around her and make a move when an opportune moment arises
6. Boy Friend : The guy who is a complements her the most and give the most amount of attention and gifts. And the guy the girl does not mind being seen with in public.

Variety Based :
Aspirational Friend : The guy the girl aspires to be with , or the guy whose qualities the girl really admires (Mostly physical attributes)
Vocational Friend(The geek): The guy who helps her out with every thing in acadamics and work
Gossip friend: The guy who keeps her up to date with all the gossip in the world to saciate her unending curiocity
Punching Bag : The guy who she loves to insult and throw mud upon and the poor guy has no other option to stick around as he has no other friends

Access Friend
Smile friends : These are of three types a) the guy the girl smiles at because she thinks he is cute or hot .b) the guy whom the girl smiles at even though she hates him but it is important to be in his good books(like professors,lab assistants etc).c)the guy who genuinely makes her smile.
Circle Friend : The guys whom she chooses to have around her either as body guards or as levels of penetration to get to her. This is to unsure that she is the queen of the clique.
Tea friends :the guy whom she has coffee with and has either meaning less or boring conversations with
Coffee friends : The guy who is allowed to ask her questions about her thoughts and mostly have meaningful conversation
Room Friends :The guy who is allowed to the girls room as she likes his company and appriciates his opinions
Shoulder Friends: The guys whom she genuinely likes (either as friends or has the hots for him) and she is willing to put a hand over his shoulder and vise verse

the higher levels of access are self explanatory :
Hand friends: (Holding hands)
Bed friends
sleep friends

Thinking is a paradox

Its ironic that I feel obliged to pour out my thoughts and creativity at the time when sleep looms large over my head
When do people think , How is our thought process generated? Why do we have related thought processes and always get stuck on a topic which pains us the most.
For example if you are thinking about a class you need to take tomorrow
The class is of research methods
You think of the research project you had done in your engineering days
That engineering project I had done with an ex girl friend
and thats where you go into a vicious loop !
How is she, where is she , did I dump her or did I get dumped , was she good to me ,was she mean was she the one etc etc.
Its always the case that the thing that saddens you occupies your thinking capability the most the thought process is deemed to end up in a recurring loop inevitably .
Now when a person is falling asleep it is this recurring thought process which pushes him into the state of sleep .Its like the brains abort program for ending an infinite loop . The more you pain the mind with the intricacies the more confused you are bound to get.
Thinking as a paradox is an experiment which aims at minimizing the band width of your thought process the more extreme you get inyour thought process the longer it may take to arrive at a result so what needs to be done to get an optimum result from any perticular chain of ideas is to counter balance it so that you are able to tread the middle path for most amount of time hence arriving at a solution.
For example if you are wondering how can you get a job in this recession period
the thought might start with why the recession started
If you can control the stream at this point it self to redirect to your own situation rather than the vicious circle of the reason the recession started you are more likely to arrive at a result sooner rather than later . This control of flow needs to be maintianed and should be kept under constant vigil and developed if you are ever to achieve a decisive decision making capability.
Irony rules that you get into a confused thought process if you read this hence try to understand it as well as possible by treading the middle path !

Spirituality

Spirituality is life and literature is our species diary for this journey. Spirituality can be defined as the belief system which guides a human being the values he has and shares with society at large. Often Spirituality is intertwined with religion this is due to the fact that we tend to get highly influenced by our religions, code of being and hence that becomes the basis for our spirituality too. With the advent of the information age the religious barriers set up in the past have been eroded to a great extant and what remains of them is common to most religions. In the present day work places in India and across the world it is common to find people from various parts of the earth with their own set of spiritual inclinations and through mutual co existence we tend to generate a common spiritual ground which we share at the work place. We often make spot judgements on a person’s character based on the place he hails from; this is often corrected by connecting at a spiritual level with the person him which leads to knowing the person better and learning how to deal with. Hence the understanding the effect of spirituality in the market place and in the work place has grown into an area of paramount importance.

The spiritual lacuna of symbiotic existential occurrence of human beings draws inspiration from a plethora of societal stand points mainly influenced by religion, history, art and architecture and written works. Literature is the backbone for human evolution written works of the past not only stand as inspiration to modern generations they also serve as an ethical and philosophical code to our existence. This current generation of working professionals are acquainted to many religious and social influences and the works of literature from various strata and geographies from the totalitarian societal view burgeoned in works such as 1984 to monarchies which have been influential since times immemorial and the capitalistic view of the early twentieth century with works of Marx, Lenin etc. In a democracy like ours we are open to adopting any of these view points and basing our conduct and code on them.

Fading Face Saving Grace

I see myself fighting all over again
From this incessant need I should refrain
Keep away from the resplendent beauty
For keeping a watch is my duty

They keep barging in on me
Trying to decipher my thought
Many a battle of old I fought
In these burning dungeons now I rot

The thoughts are slowly fading away
But the pain I feel is here to stay
Slipping away in this nightmare
For straight at death now I stare

Remorse and solace are but what I need
On this growing fear now I feed
Soon it will all be over
Thats the story of a lover

inadvertising

Have you ever wondered how little known videos on youtube become popular, like the tricks with a mentos and coke. Its the art of inadvertising ie inadvertant advertising .

Inadvertising as a concept is where the promoter does not control the mode of communication of the product some times not even the content. The growth of the fashion industry along side the movie industry was started because of inadvertising and has now grown into a fruitful partnership. Dev anand's cap in the movie guide became a produc of legend which was not an endorsement . Inadvertising is the ability to make the product knowledge available in the public domain and wait for some one of note to appriciate and endorse it . The recent mumbai blasts might have rocked the country but more and more people are thronging Cafe Leopold as a mark of respect and some of them visit just out of curiosity. The ganesha drinking milk was a simple chemical phenomenon which was on national television for hours and it went a long way in reaffirming the faith of the hindu population in miracles and the existance of the supreme lord.

Inadvertising may seem uncontrollable and not worth the risk but taking a few steps in the right direction can go a long way in ensureing that your product gets the visibility which cannot be afforded by the traditional channels . Word of mouth is a tool of communication which is unparalleled in effect as compared to any other media.

To be continued................

PS. Any comments and advise on the topic will be highly appriciated.

Meaning

For if life did have meaning
We would not be day dreaming

For if all questions had answers
There would be no astrologers

For if every thing had reason
There would be no cause for an illusion

If you do still seek to know why
Then let me give it a try

Questions blaze from the fervent few
Because they know the heart is all but true

Answers which do not seem right
Accepted to avoid a fight

Reasons sought as a quest
For they will surely cause mental unrest!!

Ask me why I am here and I would fail to answer it
Why is it that lifelessly all day I sit

With the few pocketfuls they fill
Not even enough to pay my laundry bill

I would ask u what else can I do.
But be happy that they hire a fool like me and u

Keep me insanely busy over mindless chores
Always offering more coffee pours

Keep drowning my boredom in them
From boredom does frustration stem

Pushing me off balance
For life has lost its essence

22 years of triviality

Objectivity has been attributed to almost every thing we do, right from taking tests, to assess machine capabilities or to your appraisals. Now we are coming up with various indices to measure Intelligence, Knowledge, emotions etc. I.Q, E.Q, K.Q may be just indices but what relevance do these hold in the current scenario you may wonder .Well for starters people measure Intelligence but do the measure its relevance with the field we work in or at least with our existence. The answer to this would be no. These are taken as universal in nature. This is very similar to the Indian mentality; we try to attribute one index to everything –money. With the booming economy we are nowadays not averse to a decent and some times flamboyant life style .The reason for this is the increase in the pays are good enough for a decent living but not adequate to invest in anything concrete like land , jewellary ,etc.. The average Indian middle class have found these two media of investment the most viable and rewarding but with the depreciating KQ(Apparently men are getting duller)people no more see these avenues viable or simply do not have the expertise to excel in these areas . Nowadays clothes and Beer is all that an average Indian male thinks about. Well we have stopped seeing beyond the job we do and the people we work with, the software field is a breeding ground for such individuals. They seem to lack the insight into anything except their job and the sad part is they aren’t even curious about any of this stuff. The problem is that the software field assures a decent salary and takes care of quite a few issues that an individual had to tackle with in the past hence people have become complacent. Moreover the software field needs a person to work for long hours on aspects which are not exactly challenging enough to enhance their intellectual capabilities and this has restricted man’s thinking capabilities and outlook.

This is how I end up after 22 years of uneventful “existence”. Well frankly speaking if I was to die now and my whole life flashed before my eyes I would be bored to death. People say life is an adventure; well I guess mine’s a misadventure of under achievements and bad decisions. Well my only solace would be that there are a million other mindless drones in the same position I am in and they aren’t even aware of it. Comedy of errors would be a simple was to summarize my life but frankly you can not enjoy a comedy if you are the lead for the same.

jittery and nervous
every one of us
confused and bemused easily
trying hard not to look silly
yet as lost as everyone else
for fear and anxiety swells

stepping forward with a nervous gaze
the outside is worse than a crystal maze
lookin hither thither for a calming sight
but are always encroached with more fright
solace they seek above all
evading the inevitable fall

Jump over to the other side my friend
from the precarious path u tread
inhibitions are to be shedded
and only the demon need be dreaded
fight your instinct and take to the wings
embrace what the future brings .

Sense and sensebility . two things that dont come to me regularly ,except when i am drunk.
Divine intervention is needed to further my career as a consummate faffer.Cant seem to find reason . dont even know where to look for it . For the inside of my mind is like a set of fried circutary and the oustide is equally eccentric. Teeming with minions looking for reason and some who dont even know that they should look for reason. Criptic messages hang over every one of them and I am the only one trying to decipher them , sending out warning messages as I approach as they fear me most. People always seem to think that they are different and I would be more than glad to break their glass house.

Stam-mer

Have you ever felt like you are being kicked repeatedly and you really don’t care about it.

 Like the pain is a part of you and if it stops you feel like something missing in life,

That’s how I feel every waking hour not knowing how to stop the pain and not wanting the pain to stop either yet I feel it and yet I don’t resist.

Keep wondering what I need to do to get out of my current preoccupation.  Its like in an instant my thoughts range from a renegade freedom fighter to an imperialist scorning mankind for its lack of creativity.

Sometimes I feel like I am the last of my kind and sometimes I feel like I am just one among the crowd unable to stand out unable to get recognised.

This is my story , this is my stammer through life !!